








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 829 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2679 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1284 | 28% |
| Smokes | 776 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1590 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,999 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 482 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toast | 61% | 56 |
| #2 | demarcus | 58% | 134 |
| #3 | steezus | 49% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toast | 61% | 56 |
| #2 | demarcus | 58% | 134 |
| #3 | steezus | 49% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | demarcus | 53 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | steezus | 51 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | toast | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steezus | 447 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | demarcus | 387 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | toast | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | demarcus | +7.71 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | toast | -0.42 | 53 | 42 |
| #3 | steezus | -1.09 | 31 | 44 |
| #4 | Greg | -1.93 | 55 | 34 |





