








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1042 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5303 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2234 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3885 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2270 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,347,786 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s. | 72% | 75 |
| #2 | StayToxic☣ | 69% | 59 |
| #3 | Czasa | 69% | 88 |
| #4 | Matt | 69% | 192 |
| #5 | RedHere | 67% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RedHere | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | StayToxic☣ | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | s. | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Matt | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Czasa | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt | 1079 | 0.28 | 26 min |
| #2 | RedHere | 268 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Czasa | 199 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | s. | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | StayToxic☣ | 166 | 0.15 | 3 min |





