










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 260 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 41 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 164 | 63% |
| Molotovs | 47 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,024 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Grinch | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | JackToal | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Benjamin Netanyahu | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Big Cheese | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | VCK | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Grinch | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | JackToal | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | Benjamin Netanyahu | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Big Cheese | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | VCK | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benjamin Netanyahu | 1 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | The Grinch | 1 | 0.0313 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Cheese | 8 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #2 | The Grinch | 4 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #3 | JackToal | 3 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | Benjamin Netanyahu | 2 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Grinch | +10.17 | 96 | 79 |
| #2 | Big Cheese | +1.43 | 59 | 36 |
| #3 | CakeConnoiseur | +0.22 | 50 | 33 |
| #4 | JackToal | -0.02 | 73 | 45 |
| #5 | Benjamin Netanyahu | -2.53 | 39 | 54 |





