










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1936 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 221 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2371 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2345 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2314 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2577 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,288,527 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 865 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jgdiff15 | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | QbaRak12 67 | 55% | 201 |
| #4 | mlodyblaut | 54% | 121 |
| #5 | Kendrick Lamar Duckworth | 47% | 38 |
| #6 | fragrantbow9 CSGOSKINS | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QbaRak12 67 | 265 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | mlodyblaut | 228 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | jgdiff15 | 185 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kendrick Lamar Duckworth | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | fragrantbow9 CSGOSKINS | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |





