








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 19% |
| Smokes | 471 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 968 | 49% |
| Molotovs | 173 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $193,420 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KreatinKlas | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | StorMAN | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Nans37 | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | GENERALEN | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KreatinKlas | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | StorMAN | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Nans37 | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | GENERALEN | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nans37 | 7 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | StorMAN | 6 | 0.0208 |
| #3 | GENERALEN | 5 | 0.0243 |
| #4 | KreatinKlas | 2 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nans37 | 85 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | StorMAN | 66 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | GENERALEN | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #4 | KreatinKlas | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nans37 | +4.96 | 67 | 54 |
| #2 | StorMAN | +1.99 | 67 | 56 |
| #3 | GENERALEN | +1.11 | 21 | 45 |
| #4 | KreatinKlas | -1.71 | 87 | 37 |
| #5 | kaptenen | -2.16 | 28 | 30 |





