








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 740 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1339 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 201 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $971,491 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dontanello | 60% | 63 |
| #2 | Le'Narto | 59% | 94 |
| #3 | Agarthan Kirk | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | jibbles | 56% | 59 |
| #5 | Raphatarted | 53% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agarthan Kirk | 28 | 0.0257 |
| #2 | jibbles | 18 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | Le'Narto | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Dontanello | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Raphatarted | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jibbles | 327 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | The Fate Decider | 166 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Agarthan Kirk | 144 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Le'Narto | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mitty | 85 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le'Narto | +6.75 | 87 | 36 |
| #2 | Agarthan Kirk | +6.68 | 88 | 43 |
| #3 | jibbles | +6.65 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | Dontanello | +3.26 | 60 | 14 |
| #5 | Mitty | +1.88 | 38 | 42 |





