








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 314 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




143 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5519 | 48% |
| Smokes | 1121 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 3897 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,049 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4862 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JiggaBoo | 414 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | nanker keger | 337 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gay Niger Man | 138 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Camel Rider | 108 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ali B. | 102 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ali B. | +5.62 | 86 | 8 |
| #2 | Camel Rider | +3.17 | 72 | 10 |
| #3 | nanker keger | +1.93 | 80 | 10 |
| #4 | Luitenant Labubu | +1.82 | 82 | 50 |
| #5 | John Goon | +1.35 | 91 | 14 |





