








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
978 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 838 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 22% |
| Smokes | 226 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 50 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 380 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,337 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Taikan | 36% | 33 |
| #5 | Blaunter | 36% | 88 |
| #6 | AsBraikR | 35% | 40 |
| #7 | Eibon | 21% | 19 |
| #8 | Zéro | 13% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nass1m | 29 | 0.0305 |
| #2 | Blaunter | 19 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Djokos-KILLU | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | AsBraikR | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Taikan | 1 | 0.0015 |





