








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 186 | 4% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1356 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1200 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,922 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | 63% | 75 |
| #2 | psyman | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Jackie | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | ✪ Kebab | 59% | 27 |
| #5 | Anvil Mc'Anvilface | 57% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Anvil Mc'Anvilface | 57% | 54 |
| #6 | ✿ Em Bé | 53% | 78 |
| #7 | Dr_Quesadilla | 52% | 91 |
| #8 | Biff | 51% | 91 |
| #9 | Miss Frogsane | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxtrot | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Dr_Quesadilla | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ✿ Em Bé | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Anvil Mc'Anvilface | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Biff | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿ Em Bé | 333 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | Miss Frogsane | 128 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Biff | 109 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Foxtrot | 106 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jackie | 90 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapybarA (New Player) | +2.62 | 36 | 16 |
| #2 | ✪ Kebab | +2.10 | 61 | 12 |
| #3 | Anvil Mc'Anvilface | +1.40 | 57 | 54 |
| #4 | Foxtrot | +0.25 | 42 | 43 |
| #5 | Dr_Quesadilla | +0.13 | 52 | 38 |





