








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1892 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3125 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2902 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1721 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1066 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,036,986 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 764 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PandaNipple | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | Rizzo | 64% | 47 |
| #3 | Jabber | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | AeraCura | 58% | 33 |
| #5 | ÎMÆGíÑ3 | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spikey7490 | 326 | 0.36 | 7 min |
| #2 | ÎMÆGíÑ3 | 139 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | chainzyy | 127 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | PandaNipple | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jabber | 85 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PandaNipple | +7.79 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | Jabber | +2.23 | 48 | 62 |
| #3 | chainzyy | +1.44 | 46 | 54 |
| #4 | Noobles | +1.25 | 58 | 43 |
| #5 | Rizzo | +0.24 | 58 | 60 |





