








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 642 | 29% |
| Smokes | 523 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 732 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 355 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,765 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [GER]TTVJettix_99 | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | HaramFahrrad | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Marvin [Ment0s] | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | Jxnxs | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | ☃ | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxnxs | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ☃ | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | HaramFahrrad | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Marvin [Ment0s] | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☃ | 265 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jxnxs | 117 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | HaramFahrrad | 114 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Marvin [Ment0s] | 47 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | [GER]TTVJettix_99 | 18 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jxnxs | +6.08 | 68 | 43 |
| #2 | HaramFahrrad | +3.29 | 43 | 58 |
| #3 | [GER]TTVJettix_99 | +2.92 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | ☃ | +2.14 | 52 | 58 |
| #5 | Marvin [Ment0s] | -1.41 | 37 | 42 |





