










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 167 | 24% |
| Smokes | 268 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 139 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 110 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $29,666 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchiste | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | 殺人者 | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Tondeuse | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | J’aime Apoux | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | PhD Flopper | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | J’aime Apoux | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | PhD Flopper | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | nameless | 0% | 2 |
| #7 | Deaqo | 0% | 2 |
| #8 | MereTheresaPGM | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tondeuse | 9 | 0.0377 |
| #2 | Gauchiste | 3 | 0.0462 |
| #3 | PhD Flopper | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | J’aime Apoux | 2 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | 殺人者 | 2 | 0.0476 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhD Flopper | 59 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | J’aime Apoux | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | Deaqo | 12 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #4 | MereTheresaPGM | 10 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gauchiste | 7 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhD Flopper | +5.32 | 96 | 64 |
| #2 | MereTheresaPGM | +4.71 | 91 | 65 |
| #3 | Tondeuse | +1.20 | 83 | 23 |
| #4 | 殺人者 | +0.38 | 81 | 41 |
| #5 | Gauchiste | -0.57 | 73 | 52 |





