








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




213 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5158 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2681 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3722 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2310 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,545,781 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaurma | 49% | 87 |
| #2 | noxy cracked by iql <3 | 45% | 76 |
| #3 | stop bunnyhopping iql | 44% | 95 |
| #4 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 36% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaurma | 49% | 87 |
| #2 | noxy cracked by iql <3 | 45% | 76 |
| #3 | stop bunnyhopping iql | 44% | 95 |
| #4 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 36% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 15 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | shaurma | 14 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | stop bunnyhopping iql | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | noxy cracked by iql <3 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | 208 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | stop bunnyhopping iql | 130 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | noxy cracked by iql <3 | 31 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | shaurma | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shaurma | +4.27 | 59 | 24 |
| #2 | SirDub (Do Not Commend Me) | +2.97 | 39 | 63 |
| #3 | stop bunnyhopping iql | +0.70 | 25 | 40 |
| #4 | noxy cracked by iql <3 | +0.67 | 58 | 12 |
| #5 | Mr. Miyagi | -0.11 | 58 | 32 |





