








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1028 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3313 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5373 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6780 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6595 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,160,124 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3929 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





