








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 195 matches | ||
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 792 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1626 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1144 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 680 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,392 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rickyjenkins8743 | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | Vamprid666 | 44% | 70 |
| #3 | Average xanax enjoyer | 43% | 44 |
| #4 | BOOGERpie | 38% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rickyjenkins8743 | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | Vamprid666 | 44% | 70 |
| #3 | Average xanax enjoyer | 43% | 44 |
| #4 | BOOGERpie | 38% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rickyjenkins8743 | 33 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | BOOGERpie | 10 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Vamprid666 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Average xanax enjoyer | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vamprid666 | 191 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | rickyjenkins8743 | 145 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Average xanax enjoyer | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | BOOGERpie | 17 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rickyjenkins8743 | +3.60 | 58 | 34 |
| #2 | Average xanax enjoyer | +1.77 | 82 | 44 |
| #3 | MayorOfTittyCity | -0.05 | 42 | 26 |
| #4 | Vamprid666 | -2.31 | 26 | 62 |
| #5 | BOOGERpie | -2.77 | 16 | 10 |





