










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4414 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4549 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2087 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2729 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,554,777 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | got a crib in my closet | 56% | 71 |
| #8 | qeak | 56% | 32 |
| #9 | Meo | 56% | 59 |
| #10 | McTash | 46% | 37 |
| #11 | Abraham | 39% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | +6.61 | 90 | 37 |
| #2 | jk6777 | +4.97 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | ✪ Beans | +4.28 | 59 | 74 |
| #4 | Sylent | +2.58 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | McTash | +1.76 | 67 | 62 |





