








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1228 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1452 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1195 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1018 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,789 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gweg | 83% | 18 |
| #2 | 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖉 | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Alusiv | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | dippa | 72% | 25 |
| #5 | Hurricane | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dippa | 72% | 25 |
| #5 | Hurricane | 63% | 8 |
| #6 | TL;DR | 63% | 8 |
| #7 | Franger | 62% | 29 |
| #8 | extL Andehhz[KL] | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖉 | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | extL Andehhz[KL] | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Franger | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dippa | 148 | 0.36 | 4 min |
| #2 | extL Andehhz[KL] | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Franger | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | TL;DR | 66 | 0.40 | 1 min |
| #5 | gweg | 60 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖉 | +6.13 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | dippa | +2.51 | 79 | 72 |
| #3 | Hurricane | +2.44 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | TL;DR | +2.01 | 69 | 76 |
| #5 | gweg | +1.00 | 56 | 64 |





