








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 744 matches | ||
| Wingman | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




202 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11408 | 39% |
| Smokes | 9678 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4405 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3676 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,217,025 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 800 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzbl | 46% | 299 |
| #2 | THE MILK MAN | 44% | 171 |
| #3 | mexicandinner12 | 44% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzbl | 46% | 299 |
| #2 | THE MILK MAN | 44% | 171 |
| #3 | mexicandinner12 | 44% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzbl | 50 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | THE MILK MAN | 43 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | mexicandinner12 | 6 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zzbl | 553 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | THE MILK MAN | 262 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | mexicandinner12 | 70 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE MILK MAN | -0.21 | 34 | 42 |
| #2 | zzbl | -0.63 | 43 | 33 |
| #3 | Fatalsmokey101 | -0.64 | 19 | 45 |
| #4 | mexicandinner12 | -3.45 | 44 | 19 |





