










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3141 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4039 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1707 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1528 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,887 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞𝔯.𝔦.𝔭✞ | 49% | 91 |
| #2 | 𝓕𝓻☮𝓼𝓽𝔂 | 34% | 61 |
| #3 | ♡ 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜 | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞𝔯.𝔦.𝔭✞ | 49% | 91 |
| #2 | 𝓕𝓻☮𝓼𝓽𝔂 | 34% | 61 |
| #3 | ♡ 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜 | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞𝔯.𝔦.𝔭✞ | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | 𝓕𝓻☮𝓼𝓽𝔂 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ♡ 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞𝔯.𝔦.𝔭✞ | 84 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | 𝓕𝓻☮𝓼𝓽𝔂 | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♡ 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜 | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <3 XoXo Squishy <3 | +1.35 | 64 | 41 |
| #2 | ✞𝔯.𝔦.𝔭✞ | -3.33 | 40 | 16 |
| #3 | 𝓕𝓻☮𝓼𝓽𝔂 | -3.43 | 21 | 31 |
| #4 | ♡ 𝙿𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜 | -6.59 | 4 | 14 |





