








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 653 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1228 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1651 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2309 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,834 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 465 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trippy | 46% | 65 |
| #2 | 76561199502015051 | 45% | 159 |
| #3 | chicken | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | mĪĶĀĻĀŅDŽĒĻŌ | 37% | 51 |
| #5 | | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trippy | 46% | 65 |
| #2 | 76561199502015051 | 45% | 159 |
| #3 | chicken | 45% | 67 |
| #4 | mĪĶĀĻĀŅDŽĒĻŌ | 37% | 51 |
| #5 | | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561199502015051 | 101 | 0.0335 |
| #2 | chicken | 26 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | Trippy | 19 | 0.0139 |
| #4 | mĪĶĀĻĀŅDŽĒĻŌ | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | | 8 | 0.0103 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 76561199502015051 | 521 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | chicken | 273 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Trippy | 168 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | | 104 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | mĪĶĀĻĀŅDŽĒĻŌ | 48 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | +6.88 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | chicken | +4.30 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Trippy | +0.52 | 60 | 52 |
| #4 | mĪĶĀĻĀŅDŽĒĻŌ | -0.09 | 54 | 42 |
| #5 | 76561199502015051 | -0.78 | 42 | 47 |





