










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9 | 1% |
| Smokes | 567 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 537 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 469 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,883 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ☂☂☂ | 43% | 114 |
| #5 | Thekylian29 | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | Ex7a | 35% | 23 |
| #7 | Limaky | 29% | 14 |
| #8 | Hellka | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂☂☂ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Bekanematt☂☂☂ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Hellka | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Static sift 160-90U | 1 | 0.0047 |





