








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 411 | 32% |
| Smokes | 422 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 187 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 272 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,421 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | hazard | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | karrigan | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | delirious. | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | flexible | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | karrigan | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | delirious. | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | flexible | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | lem0nCr4zy | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | Gigachad Hoagxi | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigachad Hoagxi | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | flexible | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | hazard | 1 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gigachad Hoagxi | 105 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | flexible | 69 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | lem0nCr4zy | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | delirious. | 26 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | hazard | 25 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flexible | +6.18 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | lem0nCr4zy | +5.04 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | K | +4.79 | 71 | 51 |
| #4 | hazard | +3.32 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | karrigan | +1.20 | 57 | 26 |





