










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,402 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 825 | 34% |
| Smokes | 545 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 334 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 698 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,553 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | YesImRetarded | 39% | 54 |
| #5 | Aruuuuuuuuuu | 31% | 45 |
| #6 | Chilidogzzz231 | 29% | 55 |
| #7 | YesImFat | 27% | 33 |
| #8 | YesImAnAlcoholic | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CRLY Headed Fuk | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Chilidogzzz231 | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Aruuuuuuuuuu | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | YesImFat | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | YesImRetarded | 3 | 0.0028 |





