








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 425 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 33% |
| Smokes | 280 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 725 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 111 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,285 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 656 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 比奇堡第一霸总蟹老板 | 23% | 22 |
| #2 | MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | Huyvx | 20% | 10 |
| #4 | Feed my black starving mouth | 17% | 29 |
| #5 | 比奇堡第一挚友派大星 | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 比奇堡第一霸总蟹老板 | 23% | 22 |
| #2 | MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE | 22% | 9 |
| #3 | Huyvx | 20% | 10 |
| #4 | Feed my black starving mouth | 17% | 29 |
| #5 | 比奇堡第一挚友派大星 | 17% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feed my black starving mouth | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | 比奇堡第一霸总蟹老板 | 3 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | 比奇堡第一挚友派大星 | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Huyvx | 1 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feed my black starving mouth | 69 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE | 53 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #3 | 比奇堡第一霸总蟹老板 | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Huyvx | 25 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | 比奇堡第一挚友派大星 | 13 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brock O'bama | +1.34 | 93 | 29 |
| #2 | MOJO DOJO CASA HOUSE | +0.38 | 79 | 46 |
| #3 | Feed my black starving mouth | -0.67 | 89 | 34 |
| #4 | 比奇堡第一霸总蟹老板 | -3.46 | 38 | 21 |
| #5 | Huyvx | -4.17 | 1 | 39 |





