










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 26 | 10% |
| Smokes | 157 | 58% |
| HE Grenades | 5 | 2% |
| Molotovs | 83 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $165,650 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloownnn | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Gregory Bastos | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | AZES | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Bertrand Bastos | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Michel Bastos | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gregory Bastos | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | AZES | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Bertrand Bastos | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | Michel Bastos | 46% | 28 |
| #6 | Hamoud Bastos | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michel Bastos | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Sloownnn | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloownnn | 93 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #2 | Michel Bastos | 58 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hamoud Bastos | 16 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Gregory Bastos | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bertrand Bastos | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloownnn | +5.33 | 64 | 85 |
| #2 | Michel Bastos | +2.61 | 44 | 67 |
| #3 | Gregory Bastos | +1.80 | 79 | 43 |
| #4 | AZES | +0.85 | 95 | 29 |
| #5 | Hamoud Bastos | -1.83 | 26 | 59 |





