








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1627 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,360 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 334 | 25% |
| Smokes | 245 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 506 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 275 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $104,572 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | ᵍᵘᶰ | 100% | 12 |
| #3 | Obi | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Obi ALT | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | ᵍᵘᶰ | 100% | 12 |
| #3 | Obi | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Obi ALT | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obi ALT | 7 | 0.0556 |
| #2 | Tech | 6 | 0.0606 |
| #3 | ᵍᵘᶰ | 4 | 0.0219 |
| #4 | Obi | 2 | 0.0200 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 31 | 0.31 | 0 min |
| #2 | Obi ALT | 29 | 0.23 | 0 min |
| #3 | Obi | 20 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | ᵍᵘᶰ | 19 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ЪХЪХХЪХХ | +12.43 | 100 | 45 |
| #2 | Tech | +4.69 | 81 | 37 |
| #3 | Obi | -0.67 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | ᵍᵘᶰ | -0.87 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | Obi ALT | -4.35 | 84 | 42 |





