








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 453 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1915 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 1104 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,764 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolbi Stroganovsky | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | korruptt187 | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | 氷𝕭𝖗𝖗𝖗𝖌 | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | ConnorTheDeaf | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Arktic | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robb_ery | 337 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #2 | ☂Riot | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nienna | 50 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | korruptt187 | 49 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ConnorTheDeaf | 44 | 0.12 | 2 min |





