








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 429 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 202 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 9% |
| Smokes | 6121 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2007 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 6611 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,327,020 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





