








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 532 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 433 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4877 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,968 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4387 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4582 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3726 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3273 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,729 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pubbe88 (DK) | 55% | 99 |
| #2 | Raphael | 53% | 38 |
| #3 | Redskin666 | 52% | 84 |
| #4 | you | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Blondi-DK | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pubbe88 (DK) | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Airwolf! (DK) | 9 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Redskin666 | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | peggyPenx | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Soeholt | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peggyPenx | 245 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Pubbe88 (DK) | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | you | 64 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Redskin666 | 42 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Soeholt | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Pedersen (DK) | +1.96 | 59 | 52 |
| #2 | you | +1.07 | 45 | 44 |
| #3 | peggyPenx | +0.30 | 32 | 65 |
| #4 | Pubbe88 (DK) | -0.59 | 27 | 52 |
| #5 | Redskin666 | -0.92 | 17 | 32 |





