








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1792 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1634 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4078 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2555 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $704,221 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vamp God | 47% | 186 |
| #2 | domesios.de | 45% | 293 |
| #3 | Olaf Scholz | 43% | 53 |
| #4 | Pwrnap | 42% | 328 |
| #5 | ✪ Niro ツ | 40% | 43 |





