








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1885 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2269 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1840 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 770 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,497,451 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | el maldito lobo baby | 54% | 219 |
| #6 | ☪ noscope ォ | 50% | 32 |
| #7 | ❤ Smile | 48% | 91 |
| #8 | king of titans | 47% | 53 |
| #9 | ❤ ☪ ✭𝙈𝙈𝟠५ | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nameless Ghoul | 24 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | ❤ Smile | 22 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | el maldito lobo baby | 15 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | king of titans | 15 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | ☪ noscope ォ | 11 | 0.0167 |





