








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 690 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1187 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1149 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,785 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastemyearbutter | 50% | 110 |
| #2 | torpourd | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | Watts0nn | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastemyearbutter | 50% | 110 |
| #2 | torpourd | 50% | 101 |
| #3 | Watts0nn | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastemyearbutter | 15 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | torpourd | 6 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tastemyearbutter | 329 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | torpourd | 169 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Watts0nn | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | torpourd | +2.55 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | soki | +0.34 | 69 | 31 |
| #3 | tastemyearbutter | -1.40 | 49 | 35 |
| #4 | Watts0nn | -2.15 | 29 | 7 |





