










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 118 | 34% |
| Smokes | 136 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 28 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 67 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $124,777 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blorgis | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Rocky Rogueboa | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Name | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | Ruby | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | John (こうすけ) | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rocky Rogueboa | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Name | 43% | 40 |
| #4 | Ruby | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | John (こうすけ) | 14% | 7 |
| #6 | Nitwi_t | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Name | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Ruby | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Blorgis | 1 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Rocky Rogueboa | 1 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Nitwi_t | 1 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blorgis | 31 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #2 | Ruby | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Name | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | John (こうすけ) | 20 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nitwi_t | 14 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blorgis | +11.50 | 82 | 38 |
| #2 | Name | +5.40 | 54 | 37 |
| #3 | John (こうすけ) | +3.03 | 26 | 67 |
| #4 | Rocky Rogueboa | +1.76 | 45 | 15 |
| #5 | Nitwi_t | -0.27 | 50 | 54 |





