








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2278 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1640 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1650 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1322 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,975,659 of utility $259 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazStrip | 50% | 139 |
| #2 | Viper | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Diwick | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | NO F'S GIVEN | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazStrip | 50% | 139 |
| #2 | Viper | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Diwick | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | NO F'S GIVEN | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazStrip | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Diwick | 6 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Viper | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | NO F'S GIVEN | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TazStrip | 320 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Diwick | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Viper | 75 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | NO F'S GIVEN | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diwick | +3.79 | 55 | 68 |
| #2 | TazStrip | +1.06 | 53 | 52 |
| #3 | Viper | +0.99 | 37 | 47 |
| #4 | NO F'S GIVEN | -1.25 | 14 | 53 |
| #5 | StaySlumpt | -1.50 | 44 | 40 |





