








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 437 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5355 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4665 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4347 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4257 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,294,200 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Streethoods | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | canthit | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | monkikok | 49% | 59 |
| #4 | SeksiSeppo ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆) | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | 塞波 taalasmaa | 48% | 390 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canthit | +5.62 | 62 | 69 |
| #2 | Streethoods | +4.95 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | monkikok | +2.38 | 60 | 54 |
| #4 | SeksiSeppo ( ͡⚆ ͜ʖ ͡⚆) | +0.73 | 68 | 36 |
| #5 | 塞波 taalasmaa | +0.04 | 78 | 47 |





