








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 125 | 7% |
| Smokes | 322 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 298 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1027 | 58% |
Our logs show you have wasted $602,200 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | succegg | 252 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Joe Rogan | 120 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | gunthorp | 110 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | capikoy | 101 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | AndPerhaps... | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | +2.66 | 67 | 55 |
| #2 | succegg | +1.72 | 67 | 34 |
| #3 | Sasha :) | +1.70 | 61 | 49 |
| #4 | Joe Rogan | +1.67 | 63 | 46 |
| #5 | gunthorp | +1.64 | 63 | 56 |





