








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2656 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1187 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2334 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,038 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DreAm | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Virgin Mojito in Jindabyne | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | jaegermeister | 55% | 365 |
| #4 | jagermeister | 54% | 163 |
| #5 | Lyn Avagnar | 52% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaegermeister | 111 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Virgin Mojito in Jindabyne | 33 | 0.0368 |
| #3 | jagermeister | 21 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | DreAm | 18 | 0.0258 |
| #5 | Junglet | 12 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jagermeister | +5.40 | 80 | 39 |
| #2 | jaegermeister | +5.20 | 84 | 46 |
| #3 | DreAm | +4.66 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Junglet | +1.30 | 45 | 61 |
| #5 | Virgin Mojito in Jindabyne | +0.91 | 79 | 33 |





