










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3875 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2438 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2574 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2211 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1549 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,874 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jons | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Pickle Rick | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Leaked Sex Tape | 50% | 215 |
| #4 | RiceHarvester | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | Koivumäki | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jons | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | Pickle Rick | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Leaked Sex Tape | 50% | 215 |
| #4 | RiceHarvester | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | Koivumäki | 40% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leaked Sex Tape | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | RiceHarvester | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Pickle Rick | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | jons | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Koivumäki | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leaked Sex Tape | 639 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | RiceHarvester | 120 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Koivumäki | 85 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pickle Rick | 65 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | jons | 16 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mumriK | +4.43 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | jons | -0.07 | 80 | 48 |
| #3 | Pickle Rick | -1.16 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | Koivumäki | -2.12 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | RiceHarvester | -2.63 | 46 | 64 |





