








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




171 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 108 | 2% |
| Smokes | 1479 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2118 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1295 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,414 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X$les | Niiro | 150 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | BlackPirate00785 | 112 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | 影 Kage 影 | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dravon | 73 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Legend Ötödik | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |





