








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2879 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 811 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1176 | 5% |
| Smokes | 7033 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 8345 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 5596 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,376,132 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10099 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | atti | 85% | 140 |
| #12 | Zerstörung | 83% | 144 |
| #13 | Hubba (Deagle only) | 82% | 74 |
| #14 | FinnaNutInButts | 82% | 142 |
| #15 | ZAPREME Combat-SEAL | 74% | 69 |





