










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 18% |
| Smokes | 750 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 452 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,243 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wothed | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | ¯\_(kov1l)_/¯ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | [Howl] Nike <3 | 57% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wothed | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | ¯\_(kov1l)_/¯ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | [Howl] Nike <3 | 57% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Howl] Nike <3 | 15 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Wothed | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Howl] Nike <3 | 146 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Wothed | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | ¯\_(kov1l)_/¯ | 6 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¯\_(kov1l)_/¯ | +5.62 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | Wothed | +2.56 | 54 | 35 |
| #3 | [Howl] Nike <3 | +1.72 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | k1TtEn_AwP | -1.70 | 34 | 40 |





