








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4003 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2736 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2197 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1680 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,591 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IRH On Spotify | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | eŢher | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | Slatt zy 🇵🇱 | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Twisted | 56% | 61 |
| #5 | tc93 | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | eŢher | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | Slatt zy 🇵🇱 | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Twisted | 56% | 61 |
| #5 | tc93 | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | ST33LV4GIN4 | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ST33LV4GIN4 | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | IRH On Spotify | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Twisted | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | eŢher | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Slatt zy 🇵🇱 | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slatt zy 🇵🇱 | 107 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #2 | ST33LV4GIN4 | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | eŢher | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | tc93 | 47 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Twisted | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿ishi6i | +2.76 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | IRH On Spotify | +2.37 | 64 | 51 |
| #3 | eŢher | +0.49 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | Slatt zy 🇵🇱 | +0.04 | 53 | 50 |
| #5 | tc93 | -0.54 | 65 | 64 |





