








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 218 | 17% |
| Smokes | 350 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 242 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $129,339 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | royalTS | 67% | 9 |
| #6 | m0ench | 58% | 33 |
| #7 | p t m | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | DingDong_Mofo | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | eBASHER Blade | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0ench | 175 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | royalTS | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | p t m | 12 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | DingDong_Mofo | 9 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Lieber Koka ernten statt Bananen | 9 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b✪gs | +2.71 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | SLUGG | +2.46 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | m0ench | +2.27 | 79 | 88 |
| #4 | Lieber Koka ernten statt Bananen | +1.61 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | eBASHER Blade | +1.13 | 60 | 65 |





