








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 565 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1344 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1694 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1307 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,959 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Krin00. | 3 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Csár | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | MogyiDaBoi | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | 𝕮$𝖆𝖇𝖎 | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speedesgeci | 97 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | 𝕮$𝖆𝖇𝖎 | 71 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #3 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | 69 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Csár | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | zzzz | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polly The Bird 240hz | +2.27 | 69 | 55 |
| #2 | MogyiDaBoi | +2.11 | 82 | 51 |
| #3 | Z̳̿͟͞A̳̿͟͞C̳̿͟͞H̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞I̳̿͟͞ ザ | +1.52 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | speedesgeci | +1.37 | 58 | 39 |
| #5 | zzzz | +1.22 | 54 | 72 |





