








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1943 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,815 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1048 | 58% |
| Smokes | 292 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 276 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 199 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,631 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 832 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyrie eleison! | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Sidamo | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Saturn burger | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Oscar fucking Piastri | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | max verstappen | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | globalshrekt | 36 | 0.0390 |
| #2 | Oscar fucking Piastri | 14 | 0.0376 |
| #3 | max verstappen | 12 | 0.0670 |
| #4 | Sidamo | 6 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | Saturn burger | 4 | 0.0151 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | globalshrekt | 380 | 0.41 | 5 min |
| #2 | max verstappen | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | Sidamo | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | Oscar fucking Piastri | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Saturn burger | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigma boy | +3.83 | 95 | 29 |
| #2 | Saturn burger | +0.21 | 26 | 8 |
| #3 | max verstappen | -1.09 | 46 | 4 |
| #4 | Oscar fucking Piastri | -1.54 | 48 | 4 |
| #5 | Kyrie eleison! | -3.07 | 57 | 44 |





