








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 750 | 40% |
| Smokes | 536 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 295 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 283 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $137,877 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bürokätzchen | 80% | 40 |
| #2 | The Sound of Silence | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | DemonGirlEnjoyer666 | 37% | 19 |
| #4 | prada dem | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bürokätzchen | 80% | 40 |
| #2 | The Sound of Silence | 78% | 23 |
| #3 | DemonGirlEnjoyer666 | 37% | 19 |
| #4 | prada dem | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Sound of Silence | 15 | 0.0526 |
| #2 | Bürokätzchen | 9 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prada dem | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Bürokätzchen | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | The Sound of Silence | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | DemonGirlEnjoyer666 | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Sound of Silence | +12.88 | 100 | 52 |
| #2 | TACX| Josef Stalin | +5.17 | 92 | 42 |
| #3 | Bürokätzchen | +1.34 | 78 | 11 |
| #4 | prada dem | -0.17 | 72 | 26 |
| #5 | DemonGirlEnjoyer666 | -0.86 | 18 | 15 |





