








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 759 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1912 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $300,886 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asiercabo | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | BasicoZero | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | Lollo | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Enwey | 43% | 83 |
| #5 | Chosen82_ | 43% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chosen82_ | 437 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Enwey | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lanavajas | 114 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lollo | 74 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | BasicoZero | 64 | 0.11 | 1 min |





