








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 372 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5936 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2460 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3736 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3274 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $659,287 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | STUNNEX E=mc² | 37% | 151 |
| #5 | SrAlfa | 37% | 38 |
| #6 | zidane | 35% | 43 |
| #7 | <-$kYn3T-> | 28% | 32 |
| #8 | ¡¡JESPER**⛟ | 27% | 55 |





