










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,716 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2669 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4569 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4765 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4713 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,606 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shiny Mudkip | 47% | 51 |
| #4 | PastaTeeth | 47% | 260 |
| #5 | COLLiNz | 44% | 162 |
| #6 | Saul Goodman | 41% | 70 |
| #7 | "Original Name" | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COLLiNz | 70 | 0.0209 |
| #2 | Shiny Mudkip | 34 | 0.0330 |
| #3 | PastaTeeth | 30 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Saul Goodman | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | "Original Name" | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COLLiNz | 377 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | PastaTeeth | 247 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Saul Goodman | 74 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Supra Sosa | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | "Original Name" | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COLLiNz | +3.62 | 68 | 57 |
| #2 | Shiny Mudkip | +0.71 | 65 | 25 |
| #3 | Crimpwaffles | +0.28 | 46 | 56 |
| #4 | PastaTeeth | +0.01 | 57 | 30 |
| #5 | Saul Goodman | -0.06 | 66 | 50 |





