








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 454 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5398 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4892 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6430 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 6561 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,620,467 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tepsi | 58% | 151 |
| #2 | mayvvewqewrsfyu | 52% | 119 |
| #3 | Pallosta päähän | 51% | 304 |
| #4 | PO | 50% | 282 |
| #5 | aj 💡 | 49% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pallosta päähän | 51% | 304 |
| #4 | PO | 50% | 282 |
| #5 | aj 💡 | 49% | 90 |
| #6 | Japa | 46% | 213 |
| #7 | ☹ zoomer | 42% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pallosta päähän | 23 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | aj 💡 | 23 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | PO | 19 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | mayvvewqewrsfyu | 18 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | tepsi | 9 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mayvvewqewrsfyu | 501 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Pallosta päähän | 479 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | PO | 423 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | tepsi | 409 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | ☹ zoomer | 392 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tepsi | +5.02 | 85 | 45 |
| #2 | Pallosta päähän | +1.79 | 66 | 49 |
| #3 | mayvvewqewrsfyu | +0.38 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | ☹ zoomer | +0.05 | 46 | 59 |
| #5 | Japa | +0.02 | 51 | 58 |





